So, I've got the bug again.
Which means I will be heading home. I am sure you can guess how I feel about all this, so I won't go into the heavy details. I will be heading home to the States shortly.
Baggage Blog and Mini Taj Blog coming soon...
Big Tall Awkward White Girl in India
Is it bad that most of the time I do not care if I am super awkward and people are looking at me? Maybe I have just been here long enough to not really care. Still, even though I don't care, it is impossible not to notice that people notice me. I looked at a picture of myself with my teammates and I immediately understood why. I am a bit tall white awkward girl, who dresses differently, eats differently, talks differently, smiles differently, nods her head differently, dances differently, treats people differently, works differently.
I'd be lying if I said that some other these things didn't bother me here and there, but for the most part they don't, especially in the cases where I may stand out more than others. In my previous life, I would have been so embarrassed that I would have wanted to curl up in a ball in a dark corner somewhere. At this point in my life, I could give a rat's A. In these situations, maybe I would have cared as an insecure teenager:
-In the canteen (ie. cafeteria), at friend's house, at formal dinners: attempting to eat everything with my right hand. I had no idea that there could be a proper, clean way of eating with your hands. Then I got food all over my face every time I tried.
-Dancing at a work function to Indian songs. Shockingly, American music has not taken over the DJ spot here. It probably wouldn't have helped in the awkwardness (since I am also awkward in the US). I got over the initial fear to bust a move in front of the near 100 people present, since I knew that everyone would be watching the tall weird white girl's every move on the dance floor (and shoving the video camera in her face), and went out to have a blast. Let's just say it was probably not graceful. I think I mastered the men's moves easier than the beautiful belly dancing moves.
-Hanging out in my driver's village. Children were taking turns peering through the doorway as I visited my driver's home in the middle of sugar cane fields. As we left, there were around 30 kids from all over the village running after the car smiling, waving and laughing. As I was writing this, in fact, I received a text message from my driver, Londhe, requesting that I call him. That has happened a few times over the last week, so I knowingly fulfills his wishes, so he can put me on speaker in order that his family, friends, and children of the village can simply hear the funny lady speak.
This brings me on a short tangent, again, about the common, misguided myth: "Everyone speaks English". Ha. Needless to say, I have been learning a bit of Hindi here.
Back to my awkward white girl list...
-Attempting to speak Hindi. The only things more awkward than me speaking in Hindi are the moments of silence during which I get stared at with a blank smile and then my every move and thread on and off my body is memorized, because we have run out of things to say to one another.
-Walking across the office in my "formal professional wear". Again, needless to say, women do not wear the same outfits we western women do. Even if I weren't white as a sheet of paper, people would still stare at me as if I were an alien due to my style. That's ok - gives me the excuse to further my clothing addiction and purchase kurti/as to wear to work to minimize the impact of my alien nature.
-Eating dinner alone. This was the first and most difficult thing I had to tackle on this extended business trip of 4.5 months. Quick and easy method to overcome loneliness, and rogue eye contact: reading a book/newspaper, and/or writing in a journal. Advanced method to overcome loneliness in this situation, in cases where you forget the aforementioned items: befriend the staff and force them to teach you their native language. Even with the use of these methods, the awkwardness is not mitigated. For example, since my stomach has shrunk (reference: previous post), I cannot eat very much. The entire staff had a quick huddle last night before the host confronted me about it, interrogating me as to what was wrong with the food. Traditions in India now tell me that I am supposed to clean my plate, no matter how much it hurts and burp at the end.
I know I have a billion more awkward situations to document, being a big tall white girl in India, but my battery is dead and so am I.
Thank you to everyone for the "get well" and "gain weight" wishes. I have seen more mass in my face the last couple of days and I think anyone who knows me beyond acquaintance level would be pleased to know that I cooked and ate an entire box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese this evening. Clearly, I am returning to the normal state.
I'd be lying if I said that some other these things didn't bother me here and there, but for the most part they don't, especially in the cases where I may stand out more than others. In my previous life, I would have been so embarrassed that I would have wanted to curl up in a ball in a dark corner somewhere. At this point in my life, I could give a rat's A. In these situations, maybe I would have cared as an insecure teenager:
-In the canteen (ie. cafeteria), at friend's house, at formal dinners: attempting to eat everything with my right hand. I had no idea that there could be a proper, clean way of eating with your hands. Then I got food all over my face every time I tried.
-Dancing at a work function to Indian songs. Shockingly, American music has not taken over the DJ spot here. It probably wouldn't have helped in the awkwardness (since I am also awkward in the US). I got over the initial fear to bust a move in front of the near 100 people present, since I knew that everyone would be watching the tall weird white girl's every move on the dance floor (and shoving the video camera in her face), and went out to have a blast. Let's just say it was probably not graceful. I think I mastered the men's moves easier than the beautiful belly dancing moves.
-Hanging out in my driver's village. Children were taking turns peering through the doorway as I visited my driver's home in the middle of sugar cane fields. As we left, there were around 30 kids from all over the village running after the car smiling, waving and laughing. As I was writing this, in fact, I received a text message from my driver, Londhe, requesting that I call him. That has happened a few times over the last week, so I knowingly fulfills his wishes, so he can put me on speaker in order that his family, friends, and children of the village can simply hear the funny lady speak.
This brings me on a short tangent, again, about the common, misguided myth: "Everyone speaks English". Ha. Needless to say, I have been learning a bit of Hindi here.
Back to my awkward white girl list...
-Attempting to speak Hindi. The only things more awkward than me speaking in Hindi are the moments of silence during which I get stared at with a blank smile and then my every move and thread on and off my body is memorized, because we have run out of things to say to one another.
-Walking across the office in my "formal professional wear". Again, needless to say, women do not wear the same outfits we western women do. Even if I weren't white as a sheet of paper, people would still stare at me as if I were an alien due to my style. That's ok - gives me the excuse to further my clothing addiction and purchase kurti/as to wear to work to minimize the impact of my alien nature.
-Eating dinner alone. This was the first and most difficult thing I had to tackle on this extended business trip of 4.5 months. Quick and easy method to overcome loneliness, and rogue eye contact: reading a book/newspaper, and/or writing in a journal. Advanced method to overcome loneliness in this situation, in cases where you forget the aforementioned items: befriend the staff and force them to teach you their native language. Even with the use of these methods, the awkwardness is not mitigated. For example, since my stomach has shrunk (reference: previous post), I cannot eat very much. The entire staff had a quick huddle last night before the host confronted me about it, interrogating me as to what was wrong with the food. Traditions in India now tell me that I am supposed to clean my plate, no matter how much it hurts and burp at the end.
I know I have a billion more awkward situations to document, being a big tall white girl in India, but my battery is dead and so am I.
Thank you to everyone for the "get well" and "gain weight" wishes. I have seen more mass in my face the last couple of days and I think anyone who knows me beyond acquaintance level would be pleased to know that I cooked and ate an entire box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese this evening. Clearly, I am returning to the normal state.
Losing Pounds in Pune, India
I finally have it in me to blog again. Working 10-11 hours a day here in India, staring at a computer makes me really not want to touch the thing when I get "home" to the Oakwood hotel. This hotel is amazing...I was in tears when the staff showed me my room. If you had to live in a hotel for 4.5 months, you would cry too. It is a full apartment, with a kitchen...all the tools required to make everything I want - which at this point has been Betty Crocker's Mac and Cheese recipe, Ramen Noodles, and PB&J's. It is a precious oasis that keeps me grounded during my long stay here, yet I find it surreal and awkward to be waited on hand and foot here, when just outside the gates there are people literally living in hand-crafted tarp covered structures.
There is so much to talk about, so I figured I will give a glimpse of Pune, India through my eyes on my commute to work every morning. It is a 15 minute commute, during which my driver miraculously maneuvers and weaves meticulously through unmanaged clusters of motorbikes, rickshaws, trucks, elephants, cows, you name it, unscathed and for arrival on time to work... Here are some of the things I have born witness to *keep in mind this is a city of 8 million people:
- A rainbow of sari-wearing women with jewels all over contrasting with the thick layer of dirt coating everything surrounding them
- A small concrete temple in which people pray every day and my driver says a short silent prayer to on the way to work
- Hand-crafted "huts" made of items found from the litter that exists everywhere
- One nice stretch of road with hand-laid bricks followed and preceded by dirt roads, potholes, roads in construction
- Women balancing bags, baskets, boxes, water jugs, etc on their heads as they walk
- Men with rifles guarding the more upscale or "western" hangouts
- Bamboo scaffolding on the hundreds of buildings in construction
- Men in turbans
- Entire families of four riding on a motorbike or moped
- Beautifully hand-painted cargo trucks, that say in all caps on the back "Please Use Horn - OK"
- Hand painted road signs in English and in Hindi
- Hundreds of thousands of people
- Children, bare butted, pooping on the non-existent sidewalk while their mothers stand guard
- Cows and bulls creating traffic jams
- Road workers sleeping on the sidewalk in forts created by placing sheets of plastic between the oil barrels that they use to fix the bridge during the day
- Beautiful condos under construction
- An elephant with the Hindu "Om" symbol painted between its eyes carrying two boys while another boy (~8 years old) guides it down the street with a whip in hand
- A herd of goats of all different colors (so cute!)
- Stray packs of dogs eating garbage
- Hand painted corrugated metal homes with women sweeping the doorsteps out front with hand made straw brooms
- Teenage boys bathing in their underwear by dumping buckets of water on themselves
- Three wheeled rickshaws carrying 6 people
- Cargo trucks carrying dozens of people in suits to work
- Horns constantly beeping, whose tones vary depending on the size and authority of the vehicle
- Poor, skinny, dark, dismembered and dirty people (young, adult, and old) with hands cupped begging for money and food
- The only cat I've seen thus far in India; the chicken I ordered at the Chinese restaurant didn't taste like the chicken I'm used to
- People riding a camel
- Bulls in stables next to neat piles of their hand-pounded round dung cakes used for fire-starters
- Men hand- turning a mill that produces sugar cane juice next to a messy block-long line of people waiting for their sugar fix
- A focused boy around the age of 9, with screwdriver in hand, repairing a grown man's motorcycle while the man scrutinizes his impeccable work
- A fish and chicken market
- Oranges arranged perfectly in pyramids on carts lining the street
- Three grown men on a moped
- A green river stuffed with litter on whose banks bulls are grazing and huts stand in a chaotic order
- Dry sunny heat (I wake up every morning and wish for rain)
- Women with their heads wrapped driving motorcycles in kurtas to work
- Much more eye opening beauty
I am here for another three weeks and will never feel like I could sufficiently scratch the surface in describing what I experience every day. I think that is also partly why I haven't blogged - it is an overwhelming task...There is so much to say that words cannot hold a candle to.
Up until last week I was thoroughly enjoying myself here. I love it so much. I find Pune, India to be a beautiful mess. I was eating all the foods the locals were eating, partaking in all the local activities. Then, of course, I got sick. I knew it was coming, but I had no idea how rough it would hit. I figured since I was going to be here for so long (~1.5 months all together) that I should be able to eat what I want to eat. WRONG. I fell terribly ill and have lost around 10 pounds as a result. After one week of eating hardly anything, I am able to eat bananas and rice. That's actually an exaggeration, because I went to McDonald's today for lunch and had a McChicken Sandwich (note: no beef on the menu - Holy Cow has a different meaning here). I did not touch the Coke because it came out of a fountain, which was probably supplied by local water, which probably has amoeba, which is probably what infected my body, which made me feel like death, which made me currently very afraid to eat anything. And it comes full circle. I do not think I can afford to lose another 10 pounds.
Enough about pain and suffering, because I felt great today! Going to bed now. Have to rest what my doctor called a "delicate western body" because I was dancing to traditional Indian songs all night tonight on a rooftop overlooking this wonderful city. Have I mentioned that I love my life yet?
There is so much to talk about, so I figured I will give a glimpse of Pune, India through my eyes on my commute to work every morning. It is a 15 minute commute, during which my driver miraculously maneuvers and weaves meticulously through unmanaged clusters of motorbikes, rickshaws, trucks, elephants, cows, you name it, unscathed and for arrival on time to work... Here are some of the things I have born witness to *keep in mind this is a city of 8 million people:
- A rainbow of sari-wearing women with jewels all over contrasting with the thick layer of dirt coating everything surrounding them
- A small concrete temple in which people pray every day and my driver says a short silent prayer to on the way to work
- Hand-crafted "huts" made of items found from the litter that exists everywhere
- One nice stretch of road with hand-laid bricks followed and preceded by dirt roads, potholes, roads in construction
- Women balancing bags, baskets, boxes, water jugs, etc on their heads as they walk
- Men with rifles guarding the more upscale or "western" hangouts
- Bamboo scaffolding on the hundreds of buildings in construction
- Men in turbans
- Entire families of four riding on a motorbike or moped
- Beautifully hand-painted cargo trucks, that say in all caps on the back "Please Use Horn - OK"
- Hand painted road signs in English and in Hindi
- Hundreds of thousands of people
- Children, bare butted, pooping on the non-existent sidewalk while their mothers stand guard
- Cows and bulls creating traffic jams
- Road workers sleeping on the sidewalk in forts created by placing sheets of plastic between the oil barrels that they use to fix the bridge during the day
- Beautiful condos under construction
- An elephant with the Hindu "Om" symbol painted between its eyes carrying two boys while another boy (~8 years old) guides it down the street with a whip in hand
- A herd of goats of all different colors (so cute!)
- Stray packs of dogs eating garbage
- Hand painted corrugated metal homes with women sweeping the doorsteps out front with hand made straw brooms
- Teenage boys bathing in their underwear by dumping buckets of water on themselves
- Three wheeled rickshaws carrying 6 people
- Cargo trucks carrying dozens of people in suits to work
- Horns constantly beeping, whose tones vary depending on the size and authority of the vehicle
- Poor, skinny, dark, dismembered and dirty people (young, adult, and old) with hands cupped begging for money and food
- The only cat I've seen thus far in India; the chicken I ordered at the Chinese restaurant didn't taste like the chicken I'm used to
- People riding a camel
- Bulls in stables next to neat piles of their hand-pounded round dung cakes used for fire-starters
- Men hand- turning a mill that produces sugar cane juice next to a messy block-long line of people waiting for their sugar fix
- A focused boy around the age of 9, with screwdriver in hand, repairing a grown man's motorcycle while the man scrutinizes his impeccable work
- A fish and chicken market
- Oranges arranged perfectly in pyramids on carts lining the street
- Three grown men on a moped
- A green river stuffed with litter on whose banks bulls are grazing and huts stand in a chaotic order
- Dry sunny heat (I wake up every morning and wish for rain)
- Women with their heads wrapped driving motorcycles in kurtas to work
- Much more eye opening beauty
I am here for another three weeks and will never feel like I could sufficiently scratch the surface in describing what I experience every day. I think that is also partly why I haven't blogged - it is an overwhelming task...There is so much to say that words cannot hold a candle to.
Up until last week I was thoroughly enjoying myself here. I love it so much. I find Pune, India to be a beautiful mess. I was eating all the foods the locals were eating, partaking in all the local activities. Then, of course, I got sick. I knew it was coming, but I had no idea how rough it would hit. I figured since I was going to be here for so long (~1.5 months all together) that I should be able to eat what I want to eat. WRONG. I fell terribly ill and have lost around 10 pounds as a result. After one week of eating hardly anything, I am able to eat bananas and rice. That's actually an exaggeration, because I went to McDonald's today for lunch and had a McChicken Sandwich (note: no beef on the menu - Holy Cow has a different meaning here). I did not touch the Coke because it came out of a fountain, which was probably supplied by local water, which probably has amoeba, which is probably what infected my body, which made me feel like death, which made me currently very afraid to eat anything. And it comes full circle. I do not think I can afford to lose another 10 pounds.
Enough about pain and suffering, because I felt great today! Going to bed now. Have to rest what my doctor called a "delicate western body" because I was dancing to traditional Indian songs all night tonight on a rooftop overlooking this wonderful city. Have I mentioned that I love my life yet?