Tips for travel from Geneve airport

Top reasons why you leave over 3 hours ahead of flight time when flying out of the Geneva International Airport

1.  You need to check out of your hotel
2.  You need to return your rental car
3.  You may forget what country you are in because it may be 4 in the morning and you have been in 5 over the last two in a half weeks.  When you try to pay in Euros while in Switzerland, you will be told you need Swiss Franc coins to pay for parking on your way out of the parking lot at the hotel, which may require extra minutes for digging through luggage to find coins resting at the  bottom
4.  You might get to the parking gate and realize that you cannot get out because you were probably supposed to pre pay somewhere else
5. In a fluster, you then might back into a parking spot to figure out how to prepay for parking, and not see the pole there because you arent used to driving a Mercedes hatchback, which was a free upgrade that you now regret taking because the collision damage probably costs more.  You may not see the pole, but you will definitely hear the crunch.
6. After fighting back a panic attack, you will probably figure out to pay for parking, but the next challenge will probably be how to fill up your gas tank.
7.  You might find a gas station, choose the one that you think probably means unleaded in French, but realize that you somehow need to prepay and there is no one working because it is 430 a.m.  You may manage to find the credit card machine, but accidentally bypass the English language selection because you slipped your credit card in early and then the machine assumes you speak french fluently.  After attempting to translate and click what you think are the right buttons, you think you have successfully prepaid because there is now a green flashing light. 
8.  You might now lift the gas pump that is probably unleaded, but realize you dont know how to open the tank.  You frantically might search for the gas tank opener button (yes, this is the technical term).  Then, desperately, you might open the user manual and pray that someone else might need gas and miraculously speak english and coincidentally own a mercedes.  For approximately ten minutes, you might search through the user manual three times because, clearly, it is all in German and you probably dont speak a lick of it.  After failing to find how to open the tank, you might again try what you had tried three times before -- pushing the tank door on the side of the car in various positions.  Great success.  After refuelling, you will search for a receipt of some sort to no avail, then proceed to the next challenge: finding the airport and rental car return, which probably wont direct you in english.
9.  You will probably find the place to return your rental quite easily, with some minor five minute setbacks and U-turns due to wrong translations of signs.
10.  You will probably find this whole process quite easy, but may have some extra depressor moments added due to re-reading what you signed up to pay when you confidently signed the rental agreement a day earlier.
11.  You will most likely now have to wait 10 minutes for the airport shuttle bus which adds another five minutes in transit to the airport.
12.  You then may have to pick up your luggage which you left in the railway station 7 days ago because you didnt want to carry huge bags to 4 different countries in 1.5 weeks.
13.  You will first need to figure out where exactly the railway station is, which takes 3 to 4 minutes.  Once you see the sign, you will probably now begin to run in your heels through a bare and lonely railway station where nothing is open because it is only 5 in the morning. 
14.  Your pace might quicken as you have a minor attack of fear when you realize that all the restaurants with Ferme (Closed) signs might actually be predictors of what you will probably see at the Baggage storage.
15.  Indeed, that is probably what you will see at the Baggage storage. 
16.  You will probably then work to fight back another anxious fit and seek any soul that looks like they hold any power or keys to unlock your bag.
17.  Five minutes later, you might see some souls and lights on at the Baggage storage.  You jump up and down happily because this is the most hope you have had all day and you want to get their attention.
18.  With no English, it will probably be communicated to you that you need to give them your ticket and after freaking out because you dont know where it is, they add icing to the already well iced cake...No ticket, No baggage: this well rehearsed line, to your fortune, is the only thing the baggage keeper knows in english.
19.  You will probably spend approximately 15 to 20 minutes pulling apart your bags for the treasure ticket that you dont even remember what it looks like.  After going through around 100 receipts you have kept in various locations throughout your luggage for your expense reports, you finally find the cute, lovely little plain white ticket that looks nearly identical to all of the other 100 receipts you have.  Even though the baggage keeper has repeated many times that they were closed and locked the door on you, you manage to grab his attention because of your waving arms and tears falling down your face.
20.  Clearly, you need to dig through your bags again because they need exact change for 70 swiss francs because he communicates with hand motions and facial expressions (picture hands up in the air surrender stance) that he cannot open the money drawer, since they are closed.  After realizing the baggage keeper has a very tiny heart and is trying to get an extra 30 francs for his hard extra work, you stubbornly stare at him and wait for him to open the drawer to get you your change for 100 franc.
21.  Finally you can shove all your receipts in your bag and go to Check in for your flight, that you think are borderline late for because you have probably been through the headache of security and check in at Geneva to know. 
22.  When you check your flight number on your Blackberry to figure out which gate to check in at, you realize that your flight is an hour later than you thought.

And that is how it is done.  Also, you will need extra time to document this in the airport lounge because the kezboard has switched the z and y kezs since it is French.